Modern Relating

Our relationships play a huge part in our overall wellbeing and life satisfaction,

and yet ….they are inherently complex and multifaceted. 

Our intimate relationships are both a source of great joy and also pain.

We tend to expect a lot from modern day relationships. We want stability and freedom, a sense of comfort and also adventure. We want closeness but also autonomy. 

It is more and more common for people in relationship to long for deeper connection and more presence, for their partner to understand what they want and need. 

And yet there is also the tendency to point blame and resentment onto the other instead of looking at how we can co-create ways to relate differently and actually invite presence in a more loving way.

No-one taught us how to love and how to relate in the context of relationship, and especially in longer term relationships. 

Without relational skills, resentment builds, passion fades and disconnection grows. 

Luckily relational skills can be learned and developed through practice and mindfulness. I know that might sound boring, but it’s important that we grow together in order to stay together. If we keep responding to our partners in the same ways, nothing changes.... so if you want more, you have to try some different dance moves :)

Counselling can help individuals and couples understand their relational patterns and learn and practice relational skills to repair and deepen connection. 

The emotional work of counselling offers valuable opportunities for growth and healing. It’s not always comfortable, but it can be hugely rewarding. 

This quote relates to this: “Women are unhappy in their marriages because they want men to be more “intimate” than most men know how to be. And men are unhappy in their marriages because their women seem so unhappy with them.” (Terrence Real). The words women/men could be replaced with “partner”.

I would love to work with you and discuss these points :)